Here I Am...

I haven't blogged in awhile, been very busy and still trying to keep it all together. I am reading blogs and keeping up but just no time to write (off 3 days with no Internet didn't help either!) I am sticking to my goals and tracking all food. Exercise needs improvement but I missed a week due to having pulled something in my left knee on a walk I took on a gravel road last Sunday (God love the country!) I did get some swimming in and elliptical work this past weekend. Here is list of food from yesterday, can't get my camera to download pics on puter so still not sure what is up with that (oh, and it hasn't escaped my attention I have went from counting cals back to points, it is just easier for me to keep up with points than calories, I plan on checking calories whenever I can)--

Breakfast: Protein Pancake with little pb and agave syrup (10 points)

Lunch: Half ham and swiss cheese sandwich with lettuce and 1 tsp mayo (4 points)
            few chips and very little french onion dip (3 points)
            fresh cherries (0 pp)

Snack: WW dark raspberry icecream (2 pp)

Dinner:  6 oz hamburger with mushrooms and onions (6 pp)
             bake french fries (3 pp)
             large salad with Ranch dressing (4pp)

Total:  32  pp
Used:    3of my weekly points

GOT to start doing better on my water!!! 

Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day and didn't forget those who have served us in the military and serve even  now.
This is my little brother, curently trying to survive and complete Officer's Candidacy School in the Army, keep kicking ass Darius! I Love You and so Proud of You!!

(Second fella from the left....)

Mio Water Enhancer

Made a delious find to help get the water down (or at least I think it tastes good) give it a try!

Yesterday's Eats

Breakfast	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein
Coffee-Mate ( French Vanilla) - Coffee Creamer, 3 tbsp	90	27	5	0
Wonder - English Muffins- Original, 0.5 muffin	65	14	1	2
Great Value - 1% Low Fat Milk, 0.5 Cup	55	7	1	4
Great Value - Crunchy Peanut Butter, 1 Tbsp (32g)	90	4	8	4
	300	52	15	10
Lunch
Kroger Pork Rinds - Pork Rinds, 1/2 oz	80	0	5	8
Kraft - Mayo Packet, 1 tbsp	90	0	10	0
Chicken Fingers - Fried Breast Strips, 2 pieces	100	7	7	4
Albertson's - Sliced Carrots, 1/4 cup	15	3	0	1
Kraft Dips - French Onion, 1 serving (31g)	60	3	5	0
Bunny - Bread-100% Whole Wheat, 1 slices	55	11	1	3
	400	24	28	16
Dinner
Bread - Sara Lee Soft and Smooth Plus - 100% Whole Wheat, 1 slices	75	14	1	4
Dairy - Egg - Large, 2 Egg	160	2	10	14
Brummel & Brown - Yogurt Spread, 0.5 Tbsp	23	0	3	0
Hostess - Donettes Mini White Powdered Donuts, 1 donuts (57g)	58	7	3	1
Coffeemate - French Vanilla-Liquid, 3 tbsp	105	15	5	0
	421	38	22	19
Totals	1,121	114	65	45
Your Daily Goal	1,400	193	47	53
Remaining	279	79	-18	8
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein

Summer Slim Down Goals

The begining of the Summer Slimdown is set for June 6th but I am starting early as I will be on vacation some during June and will not be around to post, etc.

Here are my goals for the Slimdown:

Food: Changed! Follow WW Points Plus Program where I get 29 PP daily, with plenty of protein, fruits and vegetables, and keeping the carb count on the lower end due to my insulin issues. I plan on logging on My Fitness Pal, when I can, to track my calories to make sure my points are ranging between 1200 to 1400 daily. With my job it is easier for me to count points.

My end goal is to track daily and eat healthy limiting processed food when I can and not beating myself up if I can't for a meal. Weight loss would be a grand thing too (smile.)

Water: Water intake is a work in-progress for me. I tend to retain water and do not lose when I am drinking lots of it. I do not understand this, maybe I just don't drink it enough days to flush it out. SO...my goal is to drink 64 oz. of water daily, pure water, not tea, etc. and see what happens.

Exercise: I want to exercise 4 out of 7 days a week, a minimum of 30 minutes, by walking on elliptical, walking outside, resistance bands, etc.

My end goal with exercise is : Just MOVE MORE!!

Why Diet?

The world is ending tomorrow, why diet? No seriously, we all need to be more concerned about the Zombie Apocalypse, it's much more pressing than that stuff the man was sprouting about the End of the World on May 21, 2011. I for one don't want to end up with my face eaten off so we just better pay attention to what needs to be paid attention to:  ZOMBIES!

Ah well, just in case the world doesn't end or zombies don't crawl out of graves and eat us, I better get back on plan and quit the wishy-washing around before it all comes back on me. I have't been posting what I am eating and will try to either write it (gotta track anyway for the big summer slim down!) and when I can throw a pic on here if I can figure out how to down-load on my new system at work.

Remember I was the one that warned you!!!

 

Summer Challenge

I have read many places about different people doing a challenge together to help each other during weight loss; always thought I would like to try that and after Princess posted about this challenge: http://debbidoesdieting.blogspot.com/ I trolled on over to Debbie Does Dieting and signed up. It's starts on June 6, 2011 so take a look and see if you are interested. I am hoping it will help kick-start me back into better eating and exercising habits after falling apart the last week and half. Still dealing with all my fears over my son's surgery (found out yesterday evening it may have to be moved up to April 2012) and trying my best not to deal with everything by sticking food in my mouth. To everyone that gave me some kind words last post, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Everyone have a great weekend...

Where I Have Been, Where I Am Going

In responce to the title it is "CRAZY!!" Took my son last week for a second opinion on the surgery his orthopedic surgeon is wanting him to have next year and the second opinion was "why are you waiting until next year, he needs it now." Well...let's see...he just had the baclofen pump inplanted last May and went into a coma so I am waiting to let him grow stronger before I make him tackle this:

1. break both femurs into, reallign all muscles in thighs
2. move knee caps down, reallign all muscles in this area
3. shave bones at both heels

He will be bedridden for 3 weeks and then the next 5 weeks will physical therapy off and on each day to help him learn to walk again. I will have to "live" there with him at the hospital as I can't bring him home in rural TN and expect him to get the same kind of care he will get in St. Louis. His father and I are divorced and he rarely sees our son let alone help with anything and my parents are older and do the best they can to help me. God Bless both of them for without them, especially my mom who makes EVERY TRIP with me, I don't know what I would do. I have discussed it with OPS in St. Louis and he says there isn't really a time frame but it will have to be done as Jake continues to "crouch" with knees turning in, making it hard for him to stand straight and walk up-right without assistance. This surgery is supposed to correct all of that.

I have been doing pretty good at pushing it all from my mind, focusing on trying to lose weight and get healthy and not eat my emotions. But since last week I have to admit I am eating more than I should on some days and to make up for it, not enough on others so I recognize I am yo-yo dieting again, binge some on one day, starve the next. I DO NOT want this to start again. I have been struggling enough trying to battle the plateau I had hit in March, having the "I might as well eat" attitude I normally get, but adding the stress of my concerns for my son, well, the past week has not been a good one. I am up to 207.2 lbs this morning. I had been bouncing from 205 to 206 lbs, now 207.2. It creeps when you aren't careful. SO...I am dealing and attempting to regain my control. I am asking everybody have us in your thoughts and prayers. It is extremely important I get healthy so I can take care of my son so I do not want to lose the battle.

Addition:
His surgery will be summer 2012.

Work Mascot

Have I ever posted our mascot where I work? Fitting on Friday the 13th isn't it? (We are State Prosecution not serial killers by the way...)

 

Everybody have a great weekend!

Summer Coming Soon!

My Mothers Day

As I whined previously on last post about ping-ponging weight I forgot to show you what I am most thankful for in all this world and beyond:

My son came into this world January 30, 2001 (he wasn't due until May 6) weighing 1 lb 1 oz and dropped to 15 oz when his father cut the cord.  He has battled countless surgeries in order to not be blind and to walk. As I have stated before he has cp but has overcame so many obstacles that doctors placed in his path..."he will never walk, he will possibly be retarded or autistic, he probably won't be able to speak, he won't be able to attend regular school" and my favorite when I had him evaluated developmentally at 2-years-old "he is going to be extremely low-functioning, I would imagine you should expect an IQ of around 50" (60 is labled retarded.) As I mother I pondered all these things, cried bitter tears for awhile, then something inside me clicked and I knew I would take him as far as I could and maybe prove them wrong. After continued tears and a mother pushing her son to do his absolute best no matter what his "best" was:

He walks unassisted and sees pretty good with his glasses;
He has always had a very deep, low, gravelly voice due to the scar tissue from tubes down his throat at birth (my dad says he sounds like he drinks a fifth of scotch and smokes a pack of Camels a day) but he talks our heads off;
He attends regular school in a regular classroom and no special classes, happens to be in gifted reading, having some problems with math but so does his mom;
His IQ is off the ricter scale for his age (I sent a copy of this this past year to the psychologist that told me his IQ would be 50 with a note that said "fuck you...")
He is muscially gifted and plays guitar, drums and now begging to play piano and is a rock music wizard;
And not a day goes by that I am so thankful and proud to be his mother...I love you son,

Sigh...

I really wish I could figure out what is going on with me. I am still going up and down the same 3 lbs and I am so sick of it. This has been going on for weeks and weeks. Bitch, snarl, gripe, whine...

Had a good Mother's Day weekend.  I fixed some hamburgers for the fam and served them with wheat buns and they weren't too happy and also fixed macaroni salad with whole wheat pasta and with that they never knew the difference. Still taking care of the pup (a bigger job than I wanted!) and he is eating me out of house and home.

Not much time to post today, hope to be back soon, until then you guys take care.

P.S. Over the weekend I got into a chocalate frenzey, I mean I was in a fog "gotta have it, gotta have it!" and I remember I had bought the new Skinny Cow peanut butter candy bar for 3 points. Awesomely good, I ate it and the craving stopped. Y'all might give than a try if you feel like you are going to eat a King size Snickers.

Blogger Award

Wow. Just got awarded my first blogger award, I am deeply honored...

(wiping tear away) I have never considered myself "stylish" until this award from Need to Get Me Back ( she's kicking butt in the weight loss department.)
The rules:
1. Post a link back to the person who gave it to me.  Need to Get Me Back at
http://needtogetmeback.blogspot.com/

2. Give it to other blogs that I L.O.V.E. and stop by their blogs to let them know (they are in no particular order BTW, and if you click on them you'll be taken away to their wonderful blogs.) Note from Me:  I look at lots of blogs and all are great and supportive, and I recommend all of the blogs in my blog list for inspiration and motivation.

Struggling at  http://strugglingwithfood.blogspot.com/
Weighing for 50's at http://weightingfor50.wordpress.com/
Happy Texans at http://happytexans.blogspot.com/
Healthy Dreaming at http://healthyxdreaming.blogspot.com/
Your Lighter Side at http://blog.yourlighterside.com/
Maria's Musings at http://mariasmusing.blogspot.com/

3. Tell 7 things about yourself.

1. I have a disabled child who has cerebral palsy. I feel I am very lucky to own this child. I know I am very lucky that his disability is not too severe and does not effect him mentally. Coming into the world weighing 1 lb. and 1 oz. things could have been catastrophic, but ended up much better than I ever thought (he's gifted in reading and plays the guitar, keyboards and drums!)

2. I secretly read bodice rippers.

3. I am divorced (see post #2, probably why I read bodice rippers.)

4. I have pale blue pigmentation in my eyes which causes people to do a back-take alot when I take off my glasses. If I had a nickle for everytime I have heard "your eyes look like they belong on one of them big snow dogs!"

5. I am a college grad and almost completed my Master's Degree but dropped out to get married and start a family.

6. I am what is known as a "haunter" every year I do a haunted house or trail and give all proceeds earned to charity. I LIVE for Halloween each year.

7. I help kick ass in a court room.

SO...there you go...

Second Post

Earlier I sent out a "seriously funny" cartoon I found on someone's site somewhere, I look at so many I forgot to look at the where...but anyway, I have also been reading about the "Onederland Curse." Has anybody heard of this? It all makes sense now, I can't get under 200 lbs because I am cursed.

Naw, I don't really think that, but evidently I am not the only one to get so far and bounce back and forth. I am seeing 203 which is much better than last year's 233, but stilll, I want it so bad and for 2 months I just keep bouncing back and forth between 3 lbs. Guess I better just quit my whining and keep the keeping on.

Today's eats--
Breakfast: 2 slices Sara Lee Delightful Honey Wheat Bread, toasted and 1 fried egg
Lunch: 6 oz grilled hamburger steak with green beans
Dinner: (planning on) Grilled deer steak with slice of pepper jack cheese and small salad
Snack: handful of almonds

Question for everyone, I am drinking plain water and at least once a day some Crystal Light, the Crystal Light is ok to drink everyday right? It helps me get the water down from time to time. Peace.

Exercise!

My oh My...

Seriously, who could just drop this off in the terrible shape it was in? People can be monsters..

Got to share a funny, riding in this morning Jake and I are listening to Johnny Cash who is singing about 10 virgins ligtining candles and Jake says, "mom he sure is country, he doesn't know how to pronounce Virginians..." God love that boy!

On to a little what I like to call "low carby" information; I have been doing some research into what is best to eat or not eat when trying to eat IR and part of my search is a decent bread I could have every now and then that is low is net carbs. When thinking reasonably I know I will have to eat bread from time to time so on Your Lighter Side site she mentions Sara Lee Delightful Honey Wheat Bread which is 9 net carbs for 2 slices-- I'm IN!!!!

Everyone have a great day and stay out of trouble! I am fixing to grab a bite of baked chicken wings and then head to the dentist office (yuck!)

A New Time Consumer

I am such a SUCKER! for all things small and pitiful.  Some horrible and mean person dropped off a litter of pups, one of them made it to my house and the rest ended up down the road at a neighbors home. We don't have a dog, with Jacob having cp and balance issues he has always been scared of them, but on Saturday he decides when he looks at this tick and flea infested, hot spots all over its little body, starved- to- death puppy, "Momma, I think we need to keep him." He is a mongrel and looks chow/shepard mix. Lord. Help. Me. So I started the process of getting rid of the ticks and fleas and teaching him how to eat, he evidently wasn't even weaned yet, and I must say he has taken to food. Jacob named him "Little Bear" but I imagine he isn't going to be little for very long and will just end up "Bear."

On the food front I continue to eat low carb as I can (I need to get lower!) and doing my best to stay away from sweets. Breakfast was a scrambled egg with bacon and little shredded cheese and had me a big salad with baked chicken for lunch:

 It is an adjustment to eat this way when I crave carbs so much, but I am learning and trying to do right. When I say crave carbs, I mean the processed ones, and that is what I am trying to stay away from as much as possible. (It is so hard!!)