Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Where I Have Been, Where I Am Going

In responce to the title it is "CRAZY!!" Took my son last week for a second opinion on the surgery his orthopedic surgeon is wanting him to have next year and the second opinion was "why are you waiting until next year, he needs it now." Well...let's see...he just had the baclofen pump inplanted last May and went into a coma so I am waiting to let him grow stronger before I make him tackle this:

1. break both femurs into, reallign all muscles in thighs
2. move knee caps down, reallign all muscles in this area
3. shave bones at both heels

He will be bedridden for 3 weeks and then the next 5 weeks will physical therapy off and on each day to help him learn to walk again. I will have to "live" there with him at the hospital as I can't bring him home in rural TN and expect him to get the same kind of care he will get in St. Louis. His father and I are divorced and he rarely sees our son let alone help with anything and my parents are older and do the best they can to help me. God Bless both of them for without them, especially my mom who makes EVERY TRIP with me, I don't know what I would do. I have discussed it with OPS in St. Louis and he says there isn't really a time frame but it will have to be done as Jake continues to "crouch" with knees turning in, making it hard for him to stand straight and walk up-right without assistance. This surgery is supposed to correct all of that.

I have been doing pretty good at pushing it all from my mind, focusing on trying to lose weight and get healthy and not eat my emotions. But since last week I have to admit I am eating more than I should on some days and to make up for it, not enough on others so I recognize I am yo-yo dieting again, binge some on one day, starve the next. I DO NOT want this to start again. I have been struggling enough trying to battle the plateau I had hit in March, having the "I might as well eat" attitude I normally get, but adding the stress of my concerns for my son, well, the past week has not been a good one. I am up to 207.2 lbs this morning. I had been bouncing from 205 to 206 lbs, now 207.2. It creeps when you aren't careful. SO...I am dealing and attempting to regain my control. I am asking everybody have us in your thoughts and prayers. It is extremely important I get healthy so I can take care of my son so I do not want to lose the battle.

His surgery will be summer 2012.


  1. I hope your son feels better. I'm so sorry this is happening to him and this is probably taking its toll on you too.

    Good luck with everything. My thoughts are with you.

  2. Bless his heart. At least the surgery is available to help correct his problems. Hoping for a very quick recovery for him and as little stress as possible for you.

  3. My prayers are with you and your son! I hope everything works out well. Don't be too hard on yourself with the eating, you're under a lot of stress right now and that makes it really hard to lose weight.

  4. Man with the sress you are dealing with, I'm amazed you didn't pack on 25 lbs! I'm glad his surgery is scheduled and you have time to make all the needed emotional/physical/travel etc preparations. In a year, you can be in tip top form, at goal weight, with muscles, with a plan. YOu will forge through it like a warrior woman! Absolutely!

    Think of it as preparing for war, and your son's and yours future being better once you're in top form. It will focus you. It will make you see every temptation as the enemy trying to grab your she-figter mojo.

    You will do this! And your son, with God's grace, will emerge strong and straight and well. This is my prayer!